Classified Humor

I’m sooo with you, email forwards are a drag. Except when they aren’t!

I just received one that added some overdue levity to my day. It allegedly represents real classified advertisements. Thought it was worth sharing.

Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

Free puppies: 1/2 Cockerspaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES: Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

FOUND: Dirty white dog. Looks like a rat… Been out awhile… Better be a reward.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB –$850/offer

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE: only used on snowy days.

COWS, CALVES: Never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300 hardly used, call Chubby.

HUMMERS: Largest selection ever. “If it’s in stock, we have it!”

GEORGIA PEACHES: California grown – 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: never opened – used once.

Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer & dryer $300.

Alzheimer’s Center prepares for an affair to remember.

OPEN HOUSE: Body Shapers Toning Salon. Free coffee & donuts.

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last month. ****Wife knows everything.****